Yes, believe it or not, Bad Eventer got a 44.0 at her first 1 star. For those not familiar, at FEI levels a 44 is pretty darn rockin.

Let’s put it this way.

In a division of 40 entries that included some of the best of the best, it put us solidly in 2nd place.

So here’s the Bad Eventer secret.

First, refuse to expedite your horses FEI passport because there is NO WAY you’re doing an FEI event any time soon.

Second, enter the Prelim (and not the 1 star) and get in big………….

BIG trouble from your coach for NOT entering the 1 star. …….who then bullied me into entering the 1 star in the sweetest fashion.

Coach: (saying quietly) “Oooooh, I didn’t realize you ONLY entered prelim……..I wasn’t planning on staying for prelim…………..call the show secretary and see if you can get in the one star.” I’m still not sure how exactly that worked………but………………… it did and  under duress I changed my division.

Then sweat bullets waiting on the NON -expedited passport to arrive before you leave to drive 1200 miles.

Third, do NOT buy a shadbelly……. then have to try and BORROW one at the last second.

But here’s the real secret…….

Are you ready??

Overnight on the way to the 1 star at the farm you bought your horse from.

For those unfamiliar, I purchased a horse named “Prince” (who was NO Prince) from friends after they spent 2 years telling me this was my “ride to the Rolex.”

When I drove to see him, this is what I found.

After many many ……………M A N Y…………….

of these.

I reluctantly agreed to ride him for awhile.

He was 9 years old, unbroke, and he was recently, VERY recently gelded.

This horse is um………. challenging.

Stallions are……. challenging.

Horses started late in life are……. challenging.

Warmbloods can be challenging……..

This horse was a perfect storm of……..challenges.

 
Started at 9 years old after breeding mares for a living…………..

he REALLY………….

doesn’t understand why he should be doing something OTHER than eating and breeding mares.

BUT…………….

Other than the work ethic problem, I’ve seen NO stallion-like-behavior since I got him.

That would be

NONE,

ZERO,

ZILCH.

Until I stay with friends who have about 5 of his babies on the property.

Mind you he never, NOT EVER bred a mare there. But something about seeing his young uns from across the fence triggered ALL OF THAT CRAZED BAD STALLION BEHAVIOR.

I have a stallion.

He’s perfect in every way.

No really.

He’s quiet, agreeable, sane, beginners can ride him and you’d never know from his behavior he was a stud, not ever.

BUT, my quiet little, unmotivated warmblood turned into FIRE BREATHING STALLION when we put him in a pen where he could see some of his babies.

He SCREAMED.

He CHESTED the fence and seriously considered jumping out.

He RAN and RAN and RAN.

All with the “boy parts” hanging out at full alert like he planned to DO SOMETHING with them.

Bad Eventer FREAKED OUT.

Oh my god, I have to PASS A JOG TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s my FIRST freaking jog…….. I drove 1200 miles…. he’s going to HURT HIMSELF and I’m going to get eliminated before I even GET THERE!!!!

I haltered him, and held him for awhile. I put gallop & bell boots on him. I put every kind of hay, grain, and treat in front of him I could muster. (This is a horse who NORMALLY values food above all else.) We put a quiet old mare in the pen next to him for company.

He kept running and screaming and chesting the fence.

I pondered all of my options and seriously considered loading him up and trying in the middle of the night to find somewhere else to stable him. As the sun went down, he seemed to settle down a bit so we decided it would probably be ok…………….well sort of,……….I’d had EXACTLY 1 1/2 hours sleep before driving 16 hours that day so I was pretty much out of options.

In the morning, he had dug a 2 foot trench where he had spent the night running back and forth.

I was horrified that he’d be lame, tired, sore, or MUCH WORSE that he would CONTINUE this Bad Stallion behavior when I got to the show…………..

I couldn’t possibly have a screaming, misbehaved EX-STALLION acting like that IN PUBLIC!!

I’ve owned stallions for all of my adult life, and part of my “excellence in horsemanship” is that my stallions all act like quiet little geldings in public.

I may be Bad Eventer, but I couldn’t possibly have Crazy, Screaming, Wanna Be Mr Studly at an FEI event!!

Fortunately, when I arrived at the show grounds he did this.

and this

and this

I literally had to wake him up for our dressage test.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is how you get a 44.0 at your first CIC1*.