OK, OK

I know I’m an eventer……………..

And we only “do dressage” to get to the fun stuff.

A judge actually said that to me one day after my test.

I was finishing a rather tense spin in the sand box, and she said something like, “At least it’s over and now you can get to the fun part.”

It actually hurt my feelings a bit (Bad Eventer does have feelings once in a while), because I’d been taking tons of dressage lessons……………. and I still believe at least on some level………… that dressage is the basic training of the horse.

So it’s more than just something to “get over” to “get to the fun stuff.”

Now.

With that completely PC nonsense part over with……………..

Let’s talk about why dressage sucks.

Reason #1

I was taking lessons with a very successful Grand Prix dressage instructor, a “specialist” if you will. The very first thing he said to me, at the very first lesson was “Your shoulders are too far forward! Your legs are too far back! We have to fix that FIRST! That is not classical dressage!”

Fast forward a year when I found an eventing coach so I could work on the jumping parts. A coach who has won the very top events in our sport. A coach who is consistently in first place after dressage……………… First thing out of his mouth????

“Your shoulders are too far back! Your legs are too far forward! We have to fix that FIRST! That is not classical dressage!”

When I objected and told him I had taken many MANY lessons “fixing” my position with a dressage expert. His response, “That is NOT classical dressage!”

We argued a bit more, and he said I must have misunderstood them. I was certain that I hadn’t. I have VIDEOS of my lessons and I’m sure they wanted my shoulders and legs in that position. After telling me that was definitely NOT correct he said, “Were these lessons expensive??”  I muttered something like, “I’m just going to kill myself now”……… 
His reply……….. “Then make it quick, I have a horse to ride.”

Could we possibly, somehow, maybe…….. get some kind of consensus, at least on what the basic position is supposed to be??

Reason #2

I’m getting ready to ride Prelim Test A. It has a couple of leg yields.

As I was practicing my test with my oh-so-fancy- horse I realized we were having a bit of a communication problem about this movement.

What I thought meant “over” ….didn’t seem to mean “over” to him.
And once in awhile I was getting “over” when I definitely didn’t WANT over……………

So I did what any Bad Eventer would do.

I decided to look up the correct aids for leg yield.

Here is what I found.

Leg Yield Article ONE

“Put your weight on your outside seat bone.”

As I was trying to commit this to memory…….leg yield outside seat bone……..leg yield outside seatbone……

I read Leg Yield article number TWO…….

It said,

“Put your weight on your INSIDE seat bone.”

Ruh Roh.

That was when I knew I was in trouble, but instead of quitting while I was ahead I kept reading…………..

Then came…………Leg Yield Article number THREE, which said……………

“Sit evenly on BOTH seat bones”

And last but certainly not least was 

Leg Yield Article number FOUR ………………….

“Start with your weight on both seat bones, but then pretend there is a line down the middle of the saddle and in order to leg yield right put your left seat bone on the center of the saddle and keep your weight over the right half of the saddle………………….”

Need I say more?????