They say riding a bicycle is something that you never forget. Once you finally manage to balance upright on 2 wheels, after all those scraped knees and elbows it’s supposed to be effortless forever after.

And perhaps the sitting trot is like that for some people.

But not this person.

For some reason Bad Eventer has found sitting the trot consistently and on different horses as elusive as that crisp validating photo of The Lochness Monster.

In other words, it’s freaking impossible.

And lately every time I see myself in the mirror I consider suicide.

I see a lot of wiggling and bouncing going on whenever I glance over.

And I just can’t come to terms with that.

I ride in this “advanced rider mecca” where everyone around me looks elegant and effortless as they glide past on their fancy horses looking every bit the part of the champagne class champions.

And then……..

I see myself……………. and four little words give me nightmares.

“Good riders don’t bounce.”

I couldn’t really quite figure out why I look to be bouncing so much. I don’t FEEL like I’m bouncing that much.

Then I thought perhaps it’s my relatively small but noticeable layer of blubber, bouncing around making me look bad……..

and the solution Bad Eventer came up with……. would be tighter riding pants!

Hello skinny jeans!

I made the mistake of mentioning this to my fearless leader, and when I said, “maybe it’s just my fat bouncing around making me look bad, I could get some compression pants or something.”

He paused for 2 seconds and said, “I was going to say ‘more squats’, but tighter pants is um……………I suppose another option….”

I should probably back up a few weeks and explain the reason for my latest Sitting Trot Woes……… is that Bad Eventer has acquired a fancy, bouncy, floaty, new pony.

Tee hee hee hee………………

Let’s call him The Hindenburg. A talented Hindenburg that can jump anything, but a 17+ hand Hindenburg nonetheless.

 

Well…….. that’s what my coach called him in our last lesson. He is definitely larger than life…………

and my favorite comment so far was that I should “get him to Intermediate as soon as possible because he just isn’t going to fit in the small dressage arena.”

Yeah, he’s a dinosaur.

And he has a trot to DIE FOR………

………….that I can’t sit to save my life.

I lost sleep watching sitting trot videos on YouTube.

I read every article I could find.

I tried everything I could think of.

The fabulous instructor said, “Don’t worry about it, you’re in a good program. You’ll be able to sit the trot in the next few months, it’s not a big deal.”

I said, “You know I’ve been riding since I was 6 right?

And I’m 42?

When exactly will I acquire this mythical ability?”

I tried no stirrups, leaning back, leaning forward, bouncing higher, moving side to side…..

I broke out the yoga tapes……and the exercise ball.

I thought of every lesson I’ve ever had (and yes I’ve had more than you can imagine) and every suggestion I’d ever heard about sitting the trot………………

Ride a bicycle backwards………(for the record, this is one of the best techniques I’ve found)

Don’t absorb the movement, anticipate the movement.

Move more than you think you should.

Move less than you think you should.

Move every joint from your ankles to your neck, not just your back.

If you can’t sit, it’s because your horse isn’t giving you a place to sit, focus on the training scale and fix that first.

My frustration grew and every time I looked in the mirror I vowed not to do it again.

The fearless leader said I was being too hard on myself. It’s a new horse, a ridiculously bouncy horse…. unlike ANY I’ve ever had………….

& these things take time………..

I finally asked “the question.”

It went something like. “I assume you’re one of those people that is so good at this you don’t have to think about it anymore. Is that true?”

The reply,”Not really. When I have a horse that is tough to sit I just slow them down until I can sit, and then when it gets too big I post a bit until I can sit again.”

Whaaaaaat???, the master has horses he can’t always sit on……….

The universe just reversed its polarity and I saw a bright light beam out of the sky.

Bad Eventer found hope for the first time in weeks.

And whether his tale was true or not (which I rather doubt), makes no difference. Because today……. for the first time….. Bad Eventer successfully sat the trot on the bounciest fanciest Hindenburg in the world.