It had been awhile since I’d had a full on torture session dressage lesson.

I had to talk myself into it……………

Bad Eventer, “It’ll be a good chance to get the kids used to an indoor arena…………
they’ve never seen mirrors, so that’ll be good experience………..

It’s not too far away………… it’s not like driving 4 hours NOT to jump anything………………. what a waste of time THAT would be……….”

What finally pushed me over the edge and got me to schedule the lesson was Big Dummy Red Head’s shenanigans on the flat.

This horse is athletic…… in a Scooby Doo kind of way. He can move his body in 6 directions at once, but has NO self preservation………….

He has fallen down while loose in a round pen…… more than once………

He often comes in from the pasture……. bloody, he smashes jumps to the ground without a second thought………….

and he has ripped off more shoes than any horse I’ve ever owned.

The final straw was trying to canter. He would contort himself in a sideways/pretzel type fashion where I would find my saddle sliding off to one side his shoulders dropping off to the other side, his hips swinging sideways past my ear and in general it’s a sensation like falling/flying/and skidding all at the same time.

I find that TERRIFYING.

For some reason, even THIS JUMP doesn’t scare me as much as this skidding sideways cantering stuff.

This sideways/out of balance issue reminds me sooooooooo much of another little punk that I struggled through the same kind of problems with.

Oh yes, he’s still at boot camp because of it!  Who knew going straight from point A to point B was so difficult!

This issue, among others, does NOT make me want to ride this horse.

So I decided a couple of things needed fixing, and the first was I had to find a saddle that didn’t roll around on him. Hahaha, good luck there……….

I’m pretty sure I have the only mutton withered 16.2hand Thoroughbred in the state. I have a rather extensive collection of saddles and ALL of them slide around on Mr. Shenanigans……so I called an expert.

She came armed with a dozen saddles. After 9 of the first 10 rolled around on him like a carnival ride she agreed…………… he has a VERY UNUSUAL back.

I have this rule that any newly purchased horses MUST fit the saddles I already own!! Yeah………….unh huh…………

The day before our lesson I acquired the ONLY dressage saddle in the area that didn’t slide around “as much” on Mr. Rolly Polly. We were armed and ready to do some dressage!

The first part of the lesson went fairly well and I got what I would call a rather expected amount of disapproval. “You MUST sit down!!!!! Your legs are too far back!!!!! Your hands are too strong!!!!!”

Nothing I wasn’t prepared for………….after all it’s been some time since riding with the Grand Prix dressage coach.  Eventers tend to have……………..lower expectations……..

Then it happened. I was trying to pick up the correct canter lead, and failing miserably. Every time he would change his bend at the last second and pick up the wrong lead.

That’s when she climbed down INTO the arena to yell at me closer up.

It went something like, look to the outside of the circle for a moment. Shift your weight onto your outside seat bone!!! Now put your inside shoulder back where it’s supposed to be!!!

All she really got me to do was put more weight in the other seat bone.

“NOW ASK AGAIN!!”

The result: Perfect left lead canter.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH

To Bad Eventer….shifting a little bit of weight between your seat bones

 just……….. shouldn’t…………. make…………. that……….. much………….. difference.

But it does.

Which is why nothing makes me want to claw my eyes out more than a dressage lesson.

…………….so I scheduled another for next week.