I’m having a bit of a rough week on the eventing scene.

That’s not exactly a new problem, seeing that my entire blog is devoted to how BAD I am at eventing……

Here’s a few moments from my lessons today, that will give you a little glimpse.

I was turning quite blue and sucking in air as hard a I could during my first lesson………………….

after being told to jump THIS…..

I’m pretty sure I was puffing up like a sucker fish BEFORE I even jumped it.

I’m sorry, but these particular kind of jumps (airy, square oxers) set off every alarm bell I have. I grew up at a very “hunter-ish” riding stable, and we would never, EVER have been allowed to jump something like that……….

not ever.

And certainly not at this height!!!

So I’m having a bit of an asthma attack and our Fearless Leader says something about fitness.

Just so you know………….

In my world, those are fighting words.

I may be old as dirt……

 but I could pretty easily run a 1/2 marathon, I spend a minimum of 3 hours a day in the saddle, and I’ll take on anyone in a push up contest……

I’ve actually been training for one of these…..

but I haven’t quite gotten over the idea of the first ice water obstacle, so I’m not sure if Bad Eventer will ever actually become a Tough Mudder…….

but it’s likely.

OK, back to the point.

I’m jumping this…………

or thinking about jumping this………….

and my coach says something like “Need to work on your fitness…..”

My reply, “It’s not fitness…… it’s…….”

He finishes the sentence, “nerves.”

So I just adamantly declared that I’m a big chicken……

Maybe I should have just let him think I’m not fit???

Fast forward to lesson 3. (Yes, I drive 4 hours, take 3 lessons, and drive 4 hours home, did you ever doubt that I’m a total lunatic?)

So… it’s lesson 3. And for some reason I usually save My Little Satan for last. Stupid probably, maybe she should be first next time…………

I’m warming her up (badly), I haven’t even looked at any scary jumps yet……I’m still fairly well oxygenated……

And the Fearless Leader says something about riding 3 horses and being tired.

And……..

in true Bad Eventer fashion my reply,

“ I am NOT tired!!!!!!!!   …………………..I just suck.”

Bad Eventer does it again.