I’ve been riding horses since I was 6 years old.

And while we do have some movie star lookers in eventing circles…….

I noticed rather early on that an awful lot of people that ride horses look

kind of………

well………….

beaten up………..

My affectionate name for them as a child……………was………….

Barn Hag

One of my strongest memories is watching my riding instructor smear make up on her face right before her dressage test.

I was about 12yrs old and I found it a rather sad attempt to hide what the elements had done to her skin.

Fast forward……..about 3 decades……………….

I’d been on the road for about 2 weeks…………sleeping in my horse trailer……..

And all of a sudden I was going to be in the presence of

Some rather famous eventers…………………

and one of the prettiest people I’d ever seen in my life

For the first time that I can remember since the braces came off….. I felt rather………………ugly.

I was on the road with horses, so I hadn’t packed anything to “spiff up” with.

That means, no make up, no hair stuff, no nice clothes………..hell I didn’t even pack a comb.

In a last minute moment of “OMG I’m going to be in the presence of famous AND beautiful people” I decided an emergency stop at a grocery store for some lip stick was in order.

I bought a lip stain, thinking – perfect – it won’t wipe off  and I won’t get it all over my teeth……….

So………….

In true Bad Eventer fashion, I quickly applied said lip stain, and found myself faced in the mirror with something straight out of the Walking Dead.

It was BLUE.

And now I looked even worse than I had before.

And it was a STAIN

so I couldn’t get it off

I spent the next 2 hours wiping my lips self consciously trying to get it off, while said famous and beautiful people decided for sure that I was a mental case………..

Then, the other day, it happened………….

I had just come in from feeding horses in the rain before sun up.

A pretty standard occurrence in my world.

Complete with layers of clothes, crazy hair and the baseball cap with the headlamp on it

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror…………….

Bad Eventer has officially become

a Barn Hag