I’ve been taking riding lessons all of my life.

If you ad up the amount of money time I’ve spent on my riding education, I should have the equivalent of 6 or 7 college degrees by now.

And yes, I’m still BAD at it………………

I can totally wax poetic about adult learning, so I’ll save THAT entire subject for another day.

Today I thought I’d share my experience with a few riding instructors I’ve worked with over the years. (I’ve had some GOOD instructors), and some……………….that…………………. well………………weren’t so good.

The names have been changed to protect…………..uh………….someone.

#1

Miss-Expert-In-Everything-Horses.

She rode a horse ONCE at a summer camp as a child. Twenty years later, she decides to start a full time riding academy. She has the money to build a beautiful facility so she manages to attract some very able-to-pay clients. But, she doesn’t know how to pick out feet, that the nose band is supposed to go under the cheek pieces, or that the saddle pad should be fuzzy side down.

I was fortunate enough not to run into this individual until I was putting myself through college training horses. She actually sent me a series of lesson horses to “retrain” that she was having problems with.

My favorite………the cutest, sweetest, quietest, little gelding you’d ever seen. She said any time you pulled on the reins he would rear or have a tantrum of some kind and he threw her students regularly. (Her students mind you, because she herself didn’t ride.)

I asked her to show me, and was immediately able to identify the problem.

She had a curb bit on the horse………………kind of………………..sort of………………….well………….is there another way to say it???   It was upside down.

Every time she pulled on the reins the curb shank mercilessly poked him in the eyeballs and the resultant catastrophe ensued.

Once I corrected the bitting situation for her, the lovely gelding never misbehaved again. I offered to let her turn around and take him home but she insisted I ride him for 30 days anyway.

#2

Mr-I-Ran-Rolex-Once

While I was in college, I managed to take lessons from someone who had “been to Rolex”. In retrospect, perhaps he had just done one of the lower levels at the Kentucky horse park. I have never managed to ferret out if he really did the 4* or not.

Now that I think about it, he told me a story about galloping down a hill at Rolex with no reins, screaming like he was on a roller coaster with his hands above his head.

Being a little older and wiser……..I am now calling into question his “I’ve-done-Rolex” qualifications. OK, back to the point.

His idea of getting my incredibly ugly stopper over anything was to RUN AT IT AS FAST AS I COULD.

He had me sit back (and I mean WAY back).

Spurs in his ribs. Whip on the hip for 3 strides in front of every fence. And I quote, “GO FAST ENOUGH THAT HE CAN’T STOP!”

And I did.

Well, I tried to.

Here’s a photo from my time with that instructor. (Yes, my belt really is on top of his ears.)
And believe me I was sitting back. I have the video to prove it.

The fact that I survived that experience in general is pretty amazing.

Should we even mention “speed vs impulsion”??

#3

Miss-No-You-Can-Never-Move-Up.

This instructor wanted to be good. She wanted it in a bad way. BUT – she wasn’t willing to admit that she wasn’t ALREADY good. (At least I have THAT part down.) In order for her to improve, that would have meant some kind of change in her behavior. (Uh, oh, I said no adult learning topics today….. Moving on!!!)

She was competing rather unsuccessfully at training level. This meant that ALL of her students were relegated to Beginner Novice, or Novice

…………………………FOR LIFE.

She had students that had been wanting to move up…..for years.

Somehow they “just weren’t ready yet”. There was always some reason why they couldn’t move up. “You’ve only won Open Novice 19 times, you really need to get one more blue ribbon first.”

or <heavy sigh> we’ll need to find you a new horse then…… if you really want to move up……………………..

In the end, when a few frustrated students moved on (changed barns) and moved up, she would make a great fuss at the competitions of turning her back when they entered the ring, refusing to watch them ride.

What a fabulous example of maturity.

And the last one for today.

#4

The-Most-Positive-Instructor-In-The-World

These lovely instructors tell every single student, every single thing they do is terrific.

He or she will spend 30 minutes explaining the exact aids, balance, seat, leg, and hand needed for a left canter depart. Then, upon the execution of one average canter depart will say “That was terrific!!! Let’s quit with that!!”

I loved those instructors. I always left with a warm fuzzy feeling.

But I didn’t accomplish anything.

To be continued……………………

(Fortunately, Bad Eventer is not currently riding with any of those.)