The Early Bird

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Once in my high school AP English class, we had an in class essay assignment.
After a 30 minute time period, Lucifer……..
I mean the teacher, asked a few of her pet pupils to read their essays out loud. (Needless to state the obvious, but I did not have a good experience with this particular public employee.)
However, one of the read-out-loud-essays made a very strong impression on me. Then (and now) I always wonder if the material was stolen, but I loved the story.
In short:
A young worm is chastised by his parents for being a slacker.
They encourage him to work hard and make something of himself.
He gets up early to work in the garden and demonstrate his good work ethic.
As his proud parents are watching, a bird swoops out of the sky and eats him.
Moral of the story: The Early Bird Gets the Worm but the Early Worm Gets Eaten.
This morning.
I was the Early Worm.
I am completely obsessed dedicated to my eventing.
Unfortunately I haven’t won the lottery yet  found a way to ride horses full time. This means I have a “day job”.
In order to compete and pay for those competitions I ride before I go to work and after I get home.
Needless to say this makes for a long day, every day, and because of this I’ve developed a considerable espresso addiction.
However, those early morning rides are often “pre-caffeinated” which means I’m in a slightly
zombie-like state while I’m tacking up my horse.
Every morning as I’m saddling my horse by moonlight, that 3/4 rider concept crosses my mind and kind of pisses me off. This is probably good, as I am very motivated by people that have tried to hold me back or told me I couldn’t do something.
This morning as the sun was coming up, I pulled down my most valuable saddle (you’ll see why that’s an important part of the story in a minute) from the highest saddle rack (which is above my head).
As I was lifting the saddle down I felt something quite heavy on my bicep (which was about 4 inches from my left eye) move.
Yes,
something heavy
on my arm
near my face
moved.
I am pretty sure it took about 0.0000000001 seconds for me to figure out that it was a
6 foot long SNAKE.
(that’s my day job)
In the MOST ATHLETIC move I’ve ever made:
I screamed like a girl
(wait, I am a girl)
slung the snake as far from my body as possible
leaped as far from the poor reptile as I could……..and did not drop, scratch or otherwise harm my oh-so-expensive saddle.
Here he is!
This morning Bad Eventer, was definitely the worm.

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